Sometimes, I blame no one but myself. I fail to see that there are indeed some humans here who can be worse than animals themselves, behavioural or not. I have no reserves in seeing good in people but there are some who will always have reserves about being good to people. Sometimes, I wonder if some of these people had experienced much pain in their past, that they can't bring themselves to bring good but pain to others as well.
Some says you are in control of your happiness. Whatever happens to you, you have a part to play in it. You have a say in what you do, what you think, what you want in order to gain this basic human emotion of being happy so as to survive another day in this treacheous world.
Some days, it could be as easy as looking up and admiring the cotton-like clouds above, appreciating wonders of nature and all of its simplicity. Other days, we may seek substantial methods to appease our self worth. Shopping does it for some people but a selective group of people, they crave happiness in the hypocritical sense that it pleases their inner soul when others crash, when others fall.
Fortunately, although I know I am very much insane, I am a good girl. I never meant evil upon anyone and curse them dead
So I truly pity those who can only gain happiness when others are being hurt. I say a prayer for them, hoping that one day they will know how to seek the right way to happiness and soothe their sorry souls.
I am still learning. I will stop being naive, thinking everyone has a good heart and have no means to hurt me. I will have less expectations on people to be pure-hearted but convince myself that people essentially has a dark side after all. I will learn from my mistakes for being kind and perhaps this is the time, when my character builds; into something resilent, something unshakable.
Life gets interesting when we learn and maybe when the dramas in my life starts to unfold one by one, I might by then, finally understand us humans.
Amazing.
