Hope.

When bad happens, it happens in bunches and clumps. So when you thought that enough was more than enough, it kicks you without warning and you stumble, wondering what's next. As if the pain it caused wasn't enough.

This week pretty much sums the above. Some of my precious ones are having their lowest in life right now. And all i can do is to provide the support they need of me, hopefully it inspires strength in them to overcome.

Sometimes, I dwell on the obstacles I had in order to protect my heart, my sanity, my freedom. I wondered at what drove me and still do not know how i have gone through it all. I still carry pain. I think some pain can never heal; not when time and time again, something or someone has been taken away from you and no matter how hard you try, reality wins.

So sweeties, this post is for you. Everyone goes through a tough time at one point or another, and i guess during those dark bleak times, you unknowingly form yourself. Strength you never knew existed, perserverance you never gotten appears, love you have taken for granted supports. Then your character drinks all these in and you create a shell. A shell which fits only you and helps you to trudge along that tiresome journey you're on.

Don't give up. No matter how painful, how alone you think you are, you have yourself to count on. Life is all but what we make of it. If we give in to these soul-sucking woes, we will lose ourselves. There is more meaning to life than counting moments to death. Some people find that meaning in God, some people find that meaning in a purpose they believe in. Whichever it is, you need it. Meaning to survive, meaning to keep yourself together.

Even right now, I am saying the above to myself, chanting it like a mantra to my soul. I yearningly wish to be back in Krabi, where beauty surrounds me and my soul heals.

Know that you can, you will, you must. You have to. Because you owe yourself that.       

Every day is a fresh beginning,

Every day is the world made new;

You who are weary of sorrow and sinning,

Here is a beautiful hope for you-

A hope for me and a hope for you.

All the past things are past and over,

The tasks are done and the tears are shed;

Yesterday’s errors let yesterday cover;

Yesterday’s wounds, which smarted and bled,

Are healed with the healing which night has shed.

Yesterday now is a part of forever,

Bound up in a sheaf, which God holds tight;

With glad days, and sad days and bad days which never

Shall visit us more with their bloom and their blight,

Their fullness of sunshine or sorrowful night.

Let them go, since we cannot relieve them,

Cannot undo and cannot atone;

God in His mercy, receive, forgive them;

Only the new days are our own,

Today is ours, and today alone.

Here are the skies all burnished brightly,

Here is the spent earth all reborn,

Here are the tired limbs springing lightly

To face the sun and to share the morn,

In the chrism of dew and the cool of dawn.

Every day is a fresh beginning;

Listen, my soul, to the glad refrain,

And, spite of old sorrow and older sinning,

And puzzles forecasted and possible pain

Take heart with the day, and begin again.

~ Susan Coolidge